Let me preface this by saying, I write this not to vilify or blame, but to try to purge this experience from my being, as it was a sad and difficult time, much more so than I have ever lead on previously. I will neither disclose the year or the persons involved, as they will already know should they read this. Suffice it to say that those who need to know, do.
I was six months into my relocation to a new state, a new job and a new boyfriend when I learned that I was pregnant. However unexpected this was, we were excited to be expecting his first and my second child.
Unfortunately, there were complications from the start and it became evident pretty quickly that something was wrong. So, shortly after we learned we were pregnant we discovered that it was an ectopic pregnancy.
For those who don’t know what that is, it is when the embryo implants into the fallopian tube instead of the uterus. As the embryo grows it can rupture the fallopian tube and cause the mother to bleed to death, so it is a pretty serious situation.
Accordingly, I was admitted to a local hospital for emergency surgery. As circumstance would have it, my boyfriend lived in the city and did not own or have access to a car, so he was not able to come to be with me at the hospital the entire three days I was there. Furthermore, my daughter happened to be with her father in another state for spring break so she wasn’t around either, which in retrospect was probably a blessing, though I missed her terribly.
A co-worker from my new job accompanied me to the hospital and waited there during surgery and a couple of them visited me afterwards as well. Other than their visits, I was basically on my own. No family flew out to visit or help out and I ended up having to drive myself, against doctor’s orders, to the train station to pick up my boyfriend.
I am usually a lot stronger, and ridiculously more independent, but this experience was very difficult and scary for me because I was more alone than I had ever been in a situation. Since there, every year in late March, I think about that experience for a number of reasons, but mostly because of how isolated and frightened I felt. Though the story does end happily, I will reserve that for another post.
(Image by radiopaedia.org)